Divorce

One concept that stood out to me this week on divorce and remarriage was that sometimes parents hide major arguments from their children.  Then when they announce that they are getting a divorce, the children are caught off guard.  In the future, they will most likely be on edge because in their mind, even good marriages end in divorce.  I thought that this was interesting, but a concept that made sense to me. 
Another interesting fact that I learned was that approximately 70 percent of divorcees believe that they made a mistake two years later.  To me, this emphasizes the point that divorce is really not the typical solution for a troubled marriage.  Working through problems and learning to love each other is a much better option for the parents as well as the children involved.  This also relates to what I learned in my Marriage class.  In that class, I learned that 80 percent of couples who say that they are unhappy in their marriage will end up saying they are happy or very happy in five years.  From these facts, it seems that staying together for many couples is a far better option. The children do better as well instead of being shuffled between mom and dad.

Parenting

This week as we discussed parenting, someone mentioned that "parenthood is preparation for Godhood."  I loved that idea.  We indeed do become more Godlike as we learn to sacrifice for those the Lord has put in our charge.  I also liked the thought that we teach children to obey not to make our own lives easier but to teach them to obey Heavenly Father.  For me this puts a lot of responsibility for me to teach my children to obey so that they can fulfill their purpose on earth and return back to live with Heavenly Father. 
As we discussed active parenting, it came up that children usually misbehave because they have an unmet need.  It is important to identify unmet needs that children have instead of just punishing children because we are under the false assumption that they are intentionally trying to make our lives difficult.  Children are not manipulative and there is usually an underlying reason for their misbehavior.

Family Finances

This week in class, we discussed family finances.  Inspired counsel has come from the Brethren on how a family can be successful with managing their finances.  The idea that touched me the most was that really the goal behind learning to manage our resources and finances is learning to manage ourselves.  I loved that because it is so true.  One of our goals of this life is to overcome the natural man and the tendencies and desires that come with that.  We become more like Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ when we learn to control our natural impulses and desires that we have being in a mortal world. 
Another concept that came up this week was mothers working outside of the home.  Once again, I felt the importance that comes from having a mother inside the home, taking care of her own children.  The Spirit once again testified to me the importance of staying home with my children even though I will have a bachelor's degree.  Sometimes it is tempting to go out and work to supplement our income, but what impact will it have on our children, especially in the long run?  I know that I need to be with my children to show them the way that they should go.  They need a positive example in their lives that is constant and available to them.

Communication in Marriage

Everyone struggles to effectively communicate with others.  Part of the reason for this is because we know what we mean, but others may not because they may have different definitions for the words that we use.  One of the early tasks of marriage is to create shared meaning with each other.  Most often this is a challenge for couples.  It is difficult when two people have come from two different backgrounds, yet it can be done. 
Someone in class brought up the HALT method.  This means that if you and/or your spouse are hungry, angry, lonely, or tired, to step away from the situation and then come back later to assess the situation.  If I had known about this before, it may have saved me from some very unpleasant situations and hurt feelings.  I plan on using this in the future with my husband as well as with my children. 
Another topic that was discussed this past week was that when you learn another person's language, you communicate love to that person.   This can also be applied to families.  When we learn the different dialect of our family members we are showing to that person that we care about and love them.  This can also be a challenge but it is very rewarding. 

Family Crises

This week in class we talked about family crises.  Each family has them, but some may seem more prevalent than others.  I love how a family crisis can be described as both a danger and an opportunity.  There are many different types of crises that can impact a family.  While the crisis is important, how we respond to the event and how we look back on the event are just as important.  The perspective that family members have can help them see the positive that comes from going through a crisis.  If a family has a positive outlook on a crisis, it can bring them together while those who have more of a negative look on the crisis may end up struggling more through the trial.  I know from personal experience that sometimes it's hard to be positive through trials.  I believe that the true test of our character is how we respond to different circumstances and events that occur in our lives.  The Lord doesn't want us to suffer more than is necessary, yet we need growing opportunities to become more like Him.  As we remember this, hopefully it can help us keep a more positive outlook on the challenges that we face in life.

"The Talk"

Many children today seem to get their ideas and views about sex from others beside their own parents.  For the most part, these sources are not reliable sources for information regarding such a sacred matter.  It is the parent's responsibility to approach the subject of sex with their children.  This begins at an early age.  Children don't need to know everything from the get-go, but they should be taught what is appropriate for their developmental age.
Another topic that we discussed during class that I thought was interesting was girls' nights.  Were I live here in Rexburg, they are very popular among the married folks.  They turn out to be complaining sessions, not just about husbands, but also about other women.  When this observation was brought up, it rang very true to me.  Girls' nights don't create unity between spouses, instead, they create disunity.  One observation that I have noticed among those that are married is how much time they spend with their "best friend" rather than their spouse.  My husband and I have discussed how amazing it is that we see some women with their "best friend"more than I see them with their spouse.  Whether it's to go shopping or have a night out.  I understand that breaks are needed, but from the outside looking in, it seems that many women take that too far and forget to develop the relationship with their spouse.  I am grateful that my parents taught me early that where the family is, that's where you belong.  You don't have to be socializing with your friends to feel needed or loved.  Ultimately, you should get this from the Lord and your family.

Transition to Parenthood

I know, I know... I'm a week late for this blog post.  I was enjoying spending time with my family that I missed doing my blog for the regular time of the week.  It really threw off my groove :)   Anyway, two weeks ago in my family class, we discussed the transition into parenthood.  This was a topic of interest for me because my husband and I are getting for our first child to make her appearance.  Along with getting her here safely, I also worry about how my relationship with my husband will change.  I have realized that how the marriage fares after the birth of a child depends on large measure on what happens during the pregnancy.  Some of the suggestions were that the husband should attend doctor appointments, have him feel the baby kick, talk about the baby coming, and that the wife not be exclusive about the pregnancy.  As I reviewed some of these suggestions, I was relieved to find that my husband and I are on the right track.  He has attended all of the doctor appointments and is an active participant during them, especially during ultrasounds.  He already talks to our baby and loves to feel her kick around.  I know that he will be a great father but I know that we will also have to keep working on our relationship so that we are both able to feel satisfied in our marriage.